You're TWO years old~!

My Ellie Girl~~~

It's your birthday today.  Sadly, most of it was spent out at Ala Moana Mall waiting around for Unnie to finish her Ho'omana performance at the Convention Center and pick up Nannie from her friend's  epically long birthday party.  We got to go to breakfast together as a family to celebrate you, but most of the day your sisters were gone.  We did get to meet up with Uncle Ron and spend most of the day with him.  He bought you some good food and even some new shoes for your birthday.  It wasn't the birthday celebration I wanted for your second birthday, but I'm thankful that we got to spend it together. 

Well, I can't believe you're already two years old.  This past year has been amazing in so many ways.  You got to go to Disneyland for the very first time a couple of months ago, in September/October.  You also started eating a lot more different kinds of foods.  Also, you've become so vocal and verbal.  You love singing, running around, dancing, copying your big sisters, wearing dresses, and being dramatic.

This is also the first Christmas that you're really aware of what's going on around you, all the lights and songs and decorations.  You love it all.  You are definitely my little girl.  So much like her mama.

Well, since it's your special day, I thought I'd jot down some of your favorite things lately:

Movies - Just recently, you watched "Frozen" and absolutely love it.  It's the first movie you've seen where you actually sat through the whole thing.  You usually watch a few minutes and then run off and play.  You know some of the lines already and say it at the perfect time.  You know a lot of the songs already and sing along every time.  You ask for braids in your hair from time to time and say, "Elsa" when I'm done and you can feel the braid.  You know all the names of the characters.  It's so incredible to see you being so into something.  Also, you watched a few scenes from "The Incredibles" and somehow became really into it.  You know the theme song right away and every time you see the logo anywhere you yell out excitedly, "Incredible!"  It's a little too violent for your age so we will save the full viewing for another year.

Foods - You've been really into smoothies for a while now.  You love any kind, whether it's a homemade one that Mommy whipped up or one from Lanikai or Jamba Juice.  Your favorites are strawberry, blueberry, or mango based.  You also love to snack on popcorn and pretzels.  I love those things as well so you're just like Mommy.  You still love frozen blueberries more than anything and can't stand most vegetables.  Your favorite fruits are probably bananas (they have to not be too ripe, just a handful of brown spots just starting to form) and strawberries.  Oh, and frozen blueberries of course.  Applesauce you have multiple times a day but you don't get excited about it as much as you used to.  You started eating sandwiches, quesadillas, burgers, and pizzas...but always only a few bites.  You still adore udon noodles, and most other noodles. 

Shows - Sesame Street, Pinkalicious, Spirit (your sisters started watching the series about the horse and you just love animals and the music so you started loving it as well).  You aren't into Curious George anymore...so sad.

Songs - bedtime ones are probably "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "You Are My Sunshine", and "God is so Good" lately.  You used to love "Hush Little Baby" but not so much nowadays.  You love a lot of the songs your big sisters listen to.  I wish they didn't influence you in that way since I rather you grow up slowly and like simple baby songs for as long as possible, but it's hard to keep you from it.  You like "The Greatest Showman" soundtrack, "Baby Shark", "Power Up" (Red Velvet, Korean group), "Let It Go",

Desserts - "nice" cream (my homemade banana ice cream), vegan chocolate cake from Whole Foods, Mommy's homemade blueberry banana muffins, sorbets.  Since you're a tad intolerant/allergic to fresh milk, I've tried to steer clear or dairy products. 

Words/phrases - moo-nuh (moon), sca-wee (scary), "I coming" (I'm coming), "Come on, Mommy~" [while holding my hand to lead me to where she wants me to go with you], "I meesh you, Mommy" [when I go in to get you in the morning...you are trying to tell me that you missed me throughout the night...melts my heart every time], "SO~~ much" [your way of saying "I love you so much" because I say it to you all the time, especially before I put you down for the night...you just say the "so much" part...you're the sweetest], Mommy/Mama (you say it so sweetly when you speak to me), "Ho-jyoo" (you saying "Hold you" since when you started reaching up for me many months ago, I would ask, "Do you want me to hold you?", so you started saying "Hold you" whenever you wanted to be held.  Now, it's our thing.  I can never say no and hold you way more than I ever did with your big sisters)

Misc. - You LOVE the moon.  You also love stars, but you absolutely adore the moon.  Every time we see it in a book, show, movie, or the real thing in the sky, your eyes light up and you get so excited while yelling out, "MOO-NUH~"  So so cute! 
          You love wearing dresses more than any other type of clothing.  I used to be able to dress you in whatever I liked for a long time, but a few months ago you started demanding I put you in certain shirts and then dresses.  Now, even if I dress you in an outfit, if it's not a dress you'll find one downstairs and throw it at me and say, "Dress.  On?"  It's hard to say no. 
          You're even more obsessed with shoes.  You love to wear everyone's shoes, especially ones that are too big for you.  You love purses, dresses, and shoes.  Such a typical girl in that way, but everything else about you is so incredibly unique and unpredictable. 
          You love being outside/outdoors.  You help me water the plants in our backyard almost every day.  You love walking around in the park across the street from our house. 
          You love lying down on the ground and snuggling with your Beh-Beh (blanket).
          You love anything to do with water: playing with the hose, playing in the rain, splashing around at the sink, taking baths, swimming [even though we can't go in our pool because the chlorine isn't good for your eczema], playing with water cups when we're out at restaurants, etc.  You just love water.
          You get SO excited whenever a shipment of your ointment (Dr. Bronner's Magic Baby Balm) comes in.  It makes me so happy to see you so happy when you receive it, but sad because I know you see it as the thing that gives you a bit of relief when you're itchy and ouchie from your skin issues, which is why you're so happy to see it...I pray that one day you'll grow out of it and can enjoy the pool and other things like the rest of us.
          You adore Christmas trees, decorations, lights, and carols.  You already know how to sing "Jingle Bells" and a few others.  You squeal with joy when you see a Christmas tree and yell out, "Chwiss-miss chwee, Chwiss-miss chwee!!"  You love the holiday season just like your mama.
          You enjoy flossing before bedtime and ask for "fwoss" if I forget.
          You're getting into hair accessories lately, especially headbands and decorative hairpins. 

There's SO much more that I just can't remember in this moment, and it's just hard to keep up because you're learning so many things every single day.  You surprise me [and the rest of your family] with the things you do and say.  You have a spirit like no other.  You are definitely fierce and determined in many ways, quite stubborn at times, but absolutely become soft after putting up a bit of a fight when you figure out that Mommy just wants the best for you.  When we say no to things or say you can't have something, you make a low groaning noise and slowly drop your head/chin and crumble to the floor.  You don't cry.  You just lie there with a look of disdain.  Haha~

In the same breath, when I coax you out of your silent tantrum and ask you to come to me, you run full speed right into my arms with so much glee on your face.  It's hard to believe that you're only two years old and yet you've somehow managed to figure out how to express your emotions so accurately and maturely.  You wear your heart on your leave, for sure.  Nannie and Mommy are the same way.  You are a roller coaster of emotions on any given day, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

You have the sweetest nature in the midst of all the fire.  No matter what happens, even if it's not your fault at all, you say "Sorry."  It makes me so sad sometimes because I wonder why you feel like everything's your fault...or maybe you're like me; I've always said sorry so much ever since I was young, not because I felt I did something wrong to someone, but because I felt sorry that they were going through that situation.  I think it's the same way with you, which is incredibly mature of you.  Also, you're the only one of your sisters that always says, "Bless you" whenever I sneeze.  I pray that you'll always have that kindness and empathetic heart within you. 

God has created you so magically, Ellie~  I couldn't have dreamt you up even if I tried.  You are so much in one little package.  You bring our family so much joy.  You really have no idea how much.  Everyone that sees you or is around you swoons at how adorable you are.  We, your family, think you're the absolute cutest baby in the world.  Your sisters, especially Unnie, always says the same thing after meeting another baby/little kid: "Ellie's cuter."  Haha~  It's true.  You are truly the most hilarious, snuggliest, cutest little baby girl.  Unnie even nicknamed you Snuggle Bunny.  You definitely have a little bit of a naughty/mischievous streak in you, but it's balanced out by the abundance of softness and sweetness you possess as well. 

I love you, my Ellie Girl.  I always have and always will, no matter what battles we may go through.  We are quite alike so I'm sure we will have a few down the line (hehe), but I know that my love for you will only increase with each passing year.  It's only been two and I keep falling deeper in love with you and being your mommy.  Happy birthday, little one~!

My little smartie pants

Oh my Ellie,

You have grown SO much in the past months.  I'm sorry I haven't written anything in so long.  I kept meaning to, but things kept coming up.  Then, the flood happened and we were so busy fixing the house and cleaning everything up, which I'm still not done with, that I kept putting it off and here we are.

You have learned SO many new words AND phrases.  You mimic us all the time.  You say things like, "What is that?", "I love you", "That's better", "Night night", "Despicable (from Despicable Me)", and SO much more that I can't think of at this very moment.  You constantly say yes, no, up, down, inside, outside, mommy (your sisters didn't call me mommy until after they were two years old and here you are, already saying it like a pro), daddy, Unnie, Nanie, Amah, eyes, nose, mouth, cheeks, toes, toothbrush, toothpaste, doggy, Ella, Ellie (you're the earliest to say your name so well from your sisters), elephant, zebra, blue, green, purple, hal-muh-nee, hal-ah-buh-jee, birdie, bread, blueberries, smoothie, and ON and ON~~~~

It amazes me how quickly you catch on and how much you learn just by watching and listening to us.  You've also started hitting us, which we are really trying to teach you not to do.  Alana went through the same thing with Unnie, so I'm hoping you'll grow out of it.  You are definitely a handful and probably the one that has the most fire in you.  I pray that you would one day use that passion and fire to bless others, fighting for justice and what is right.

Oh, we also started doing things differently for bedtime just about a month or so ago.  We used to just take a shower, drink milk, and then sing lullabies before going to bed.  Lately, I have you help me turn on everything including the AC, air purifier, and mini lamp.  Then, we take our shower, drink your milk, brush your teeth, read a few books, sing lullabies, and then talk for a little while before I head out.  You used to just watch me as I told you "night,night" and "I love you," but lately you've been responding back and laughing when I say silly things.  I really look forward to our bedtime routine.  Sure, everyone else is usually relaxing and watching t.v. after eating dinner I made, but I know that I'm the one that gets to have those special moments before you go down for the night.  That makes it all worthwhile.

You hardly ever sit still and have so much joy to give to all of us.  I can't imagine life without you in it.  Honestly, I thought our lives were so full and couldn't get any more fun and joyful.  Then, you came along and I can't believe we did without you for so long.  We all feel that way.  Your big sisters adore you so much and fight over who gets to hold you, help you eat, sit next to you, etc.  I pray that all three of you would have an incredibly special bond growing up and into your adult lives. 

I love you so much and am so excited every day for all the things you are learning and growing into.  I praise God for keeping you safely in our lives for this long.  It isn't a given.  That's why I try my best to savor every moment with you and your sisters. 

You're my best friend

Hello my Ellie,

It's odd to say that my baby who can't even fully talk yet is my best friend...but you are.  Your big sisters are my best friends too.  You three are the greatest friends I have.  

I spend all day with you.  I get to see all your firsts and new discoveries.  I get to be a part of every moment.  Also, you are the most responsive baby.  You completely get humor.  You are so goofy and make the most sneaky little expressions.  You know a lot more than you probably should at this age.  You crack me up constantly with just one word or sound or look.  

To be honest, there are things going on with my health that worries me, but being with you every day helps me to focus on the good and wonderful things in life.  To be thankful.  To realize how blessed I have been and am.  

You do that.  

You and your sisters give me so much purpose and joy.  Of course there are moments when you all stress me out.  That's just part of life and living with others.  Even so, there are way many more moments that are filled with laughter, joy, and love. 

Just today, you probably made me laugh at least a dozen times...maybe more.  Earlier today, you started crying after I tried to feed you one more bite of food from lunch.  You just had a major meltdown.  You were just crying and crying with snot and tears running down your face.  I held you in my lap facing me with my knees up behind you.  I stared at you crying and kept repeating, "Please calm down...calm down...I'll wait until you calm down."  Then, you huffed while crying and all the snot that was building up in your nose all came out all over your face and mine.  We both looked at one another a bit stunned and unsure of what to make of the situation.  There was a 2-second pause, and then we both cracked up.  We couldn't stop laughing.  The more you laughed, the more I did.  The more I laughed because of you, the more you'd laugh in return.  It went on for a few minutes.  I mean, these are the types of moments we have that just blow me away.  I can't believe how intricate of an interaction I'm having with my 13-month old.  You just make me laugh out loud constantly with your comedic timing and looks.  You do things and look at me in ways that I wouldn't expect from a one-year old. 

I know it's odd to say that your children are your best friends...sure, I can't really tell you all my deepest, darkest secrets and innermost thoughts.  You wouldn't understand it.  Even so, I spend the most time with you.  We laugh together.  We eat together.   We do everything together.  So yes, my girls, especially you lately [since I spend the most time with you], are my dearest and most cherished friends. 

I love you.

The world's worst napper

Haha~  That you are, my dear. 

You used to nap so well.  One 2-3 hour nap in the morning, a short 1 hour nap before going to get your big sisters from school, and then another short 1-2 hour nap before dinnertime. 

Lately, it's a miracle if you get one decent 1-2 hour nap in the entire day.  I keep you up there in your crib for hours while I do housework just so you could have some alone time and get some rest, but you mostly just play around with your blanket. 

It's absolutely nuts how you just can lay around in your crib for up to three hours without falling asleep.  I don't get it.  Both your sisters were great nappers until around 3 years old.  You JUST turned ONE and you're already seemingly giving up naps entirely. 

To be completely honest with you, it's really frustrating to see you on the monitor just rolling and playing around without any interest in falling asleep because I know you need the rest.  You're still so small and need the sleep to grow.  Also, it doesn't give me much peaceful time to get the house in order, cook, and do other things that I can only do when you're not around. 

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being with you.  It's just that you are so clingy at times and need me around every moment or you start fussing or get into mischief.  So, getting any real work done with you by my side is nearly impossible.  Also, you started this thing where you pull all the laundry down after I've folded it and put it on your head.  It's so adorable but not helpful in getting the task done.  Haha~

I love you.  There's no doubt about that.  I don't know how I would do without you.  You are such a firecracker, always yelling up a storm when you're excited or frustrated, and we call you our little monkey since you act like a cute silly one.  We all adore you so much and can't seem to get enough of you.

Oh, before I forget, you've been taking a few steps on your own here and there for over a month now, but just yesterday you took about 10-12 steps all the way to me from the couch.  You want nothing more than to walk endlessly with me holding just one of your hands (when I hold both I think it makes you feel like you're not in control so you get frustrated, haha).  Every time I want to sit and take a rest from walking, you just break down into tears while arching your back and crumbling to the floor.  You are truly one of a kind.  I can't wait to see and learn more of you with the days to come.

Happy FIRST birthday, our Ellie girl~!

My smiley little one,

Just a couple days ago you turned one. I cannot believe that you are already a whole year old.  It's been a whirlwind of a year.  Just adjusting to having a baby around the house again was a huge adjustment.  Also, your sisters had to really learn to be more gentle, quiet, and responsible in order to take care of you and make sure that you're safe.  It's still an ongoing process, but they are learning day by day.

Also, just yesterday we had your birthday party.  We invited all our friends and family, about 50-60 people, over to our home and celebrated your precious life and you turning ONE.  It was really stressful to get prepared.  Your grandma and grandpa flew in all the way from San Francisco days before the party to help with cleaning and prepping.  They did so much.  We all did.  There were moments when I wanted to give up because it seemed impossible to get done in time, but you were our motivation.  We would do anything for you and your sisters.  You are all such a blessing to your Daddy and I.

With becoming one, you have definitely upped your game.  You don't listen to me very well.  There are times when you do what I ask right away, like you're really great at handing things over to me when I ask you, "Give it to Mama", but most times you are running away from me and trying to do what you want to do instead.  You especially love the stairs.  You keep wanting to climb up and go upstairs.  You are very picky when it comes to eating.  You whine, throw your head back, squirm your body, flail your arms around, try to hit the food away, and sometimes even hit me in process just so you won't have to take another bite of something.  You much rather have your organic goat formula all day long.  I hope you'll come around to real food and start eating a more balanced diet.  I'll keep trying.

You say "hi" all the time now and started to blow kisses.  You still need work on being "gentle" since you like to hit things including your food, people, books, etc.  Haha~

You always jump up and down with overwhelming excitement and joy whenever I go in to get you up from a nap or in the morning after a long night's sleep.  Your soft and puffy hair bounces all over the place.  It's the cutest and most heartwarming thing.  Going to get you after a nap is one of my favorite things to do every day.

You laugh at so many things.  You laugh at voices I make.  You laugh at looks I give.  You laugh when I startle you.  You laugh when I swing you around.  You laugh when I tickle you.  You laugh when I chase you.  You just laugh all the time.

You also [finally] got your third tooth, but you haven't had any new teeth since 4 months old when the two middle bottom teeth sprouted out so you've been smiling with an underbite all this time.  It's the cutest thing in the world.  I know it's for the best, especially for your overall health and happiness, that you get your other teeth, but I am really going to miss when you stop smiling your goofy underbite smile.

You even started walking with help and taking a few steps on your own.  To be honest, I thought you'd be walking by ten or eleven months because your older sisters both were walking all by themselves around that time.  In a way, I'm thankful that you're developing a tad bit slower than your sisters in that area because it allows me to baby you for a bit longer.  I can't help it with you.  Daddy and my own parents (your grandparents) tell me all the time that I spoil you so much compared to your sisters at this age.  I have to admit that I do let you get away with a bit more than I would have allowed for them.  You will probably be our last baby.  That makes me cherish and baby you much more.  On top of that, you're so stinkin' cute! 

I pray that this coming year of life will continue to bring growth and health.  I pray that you would become more and more who God intends for you to be.  I pray that my love for you would be enough on the days when I may fail you in every other way.  I pray that you would continue to grow closer to your big sisters, that they would always watch out for you and adore you the way they do now.  I love you and am so thankful to God that you have been in our lives for a year. 

My sitting 8 month old

We've got a sitter, yes we do!  You've been sitting slanted to the side with one arm propping you up for nearly a month now, but you all of a sudden started sitting upright on your own today.  Once you did it, you kept doing it!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  Now, you don't do the side sitting thing at all.  You go from crawling around (your adorable army crawl) to sitting up.  It's incredible.  I just can't get over how big you look now that I'm not sitting in back of you propping you up.  You're doing it all on your own!

Also, we got through another month of breastfeeding.  I had to supplement with organic formula for a feeding here and there, mostly the night feeding, but we did it!  Every day that passes by, then every week and month, I just am so amazed that we've made it this far.  I remember telling Daddy that I was going to go straight to formula from birth if we had any more babies after Alana.  Yet, when I held you in my arms and looked into that sweet face, it was just natural for me to want to provide the best for you as much as I could.  So, after much pain and daily struggles, we've made it to 8 months.  It may not seem like a whole lot to most but to me I am so thankful for that.  I'm so thankful that I got to give you the best nutrients for your first several months of life, especially the first half year when the breastmilk is the only source of nutrition you're getting.

You still don't eat a lot of solids but you do love eating your organic puffs.  Haha~  Even your older sisters love it.  They ask for some whenever I feed you it.

Also, you've talked and babbled a LOT since you were born, even at a couple of months old, but the word you've said most consistently and often is "Dada."  It does make me a little bit sad when all you say is Dada and hardly ever say Mama unless you're desperately crying, but I am truly happy that you love your daddy so much.  He adores you to pieces.  There are days when he gets home after a long day of work and can't hold you since he has to get things done around the house or take your sisters to their jiu jitsu class, and I see the aching in his eyes.  If it were up to him he would stay home and hold you all day long.  When he does get the chance to hold you, all he can do is laugh at every little thing you do and stare.

I spend all day with you and I still can't get enough of you.  I play with you, read to you, and try to take all of you in.  I know you're going to grow up so unbelievably fast...I'm really trying to savor each little moment.  You're so tall and big.  I can barely hold you nowadays without feeling shooting pain in my wrists and arms.  Haha~  A lot of people say you look a year old already.  You really do.  The clothes you wear is mostly for 12-18 months and your hair is so long now, with your bangs going into your eyes.

I can't wait to see what this coming month has in store for us.  I wonder what you'll learn in the days to come.

First tooth is finally OUT!

You've been teething for months now.  Drooling like a leaking faucet.  Extra fussy probably from the discomfort and pain.  Waking up many times during naps and your nighttime.  Clamping down on my shoulder and collarbone to ease the pressure.

The other night, I could see the little ridges of your tooth wanting to poke through the gums.  I almost thought it had already cut through.  Then, this morning as I looked at your adorable face and talked to you as I usually do every day, you smiled at me [as you always do] and I saw it.  A tiny white tooth with a tiny drop of dried blood next to it on your gums.  I can't believe you got your first tooth.  Just in time for your upcoming 6 months birthday in a couple of weeks.

I've been able to nurse you all this time miraculously.  My goal was one month.  Then, two.  Then, three.  Then, possibly four.  I thought for sure it was just wishful thinking.  Then, we hit four.  Then, FIVE.  Now, we are only a couple of weeks away from hitting SIX.  My ultimate goal was to get to six months since they say that's usually the time when the baby gets the maximum benefits of the mommy's antibodies and nutrients in the first half year.  So, we are so close.

With your new little tooth [and many more to come, I'm sure], you'll probably be eating solids and drinking water in no time.  My milk will become less and less something you desire.  I'll let you lead the way.  I love you so much and can't believe how quickly you're growing up.  It blows me away that it's already been nearly half of a whole year!!  It doesn't feel like it.  I feel like you're still so much my newborn little baby.  At the same time, you're such a huge part of my life, our lives, that it feels like you've been here forever.

You bring me so much fatigue (haha), but even more joy and happiness.  Your smile can heal all things.