Growing by the day

Hello my adorable Ellie girl,

You are talking so much lately.  Just the other day, while Kaia was talking to you, you laughed for the very first time.  Before, you used to have short little shouts here and there that sounded sort of like the beginning of a good laugh, but this time you full on laughed with your head thrown back and mouth wide open.  It was the sweetest and cutest sound in the world.

You're only 2 months and 2 weeks old, yet you're already cooing up a storm, smiling from ear-to-ear, pushing super hard with your legs whenever i hold you up onto my lap (almost like you're just about ready to stand on your own), making all kinds of adorable expressions with your eyebrows, eyes, and mouth, sleeping through the night, taking long naps during the day, on and on.

Just a week or two ago, you were sleeping in the car and for short spurts here and there, but this past week you've been going down in the crib downstairs for 2-3 hours.  I'm so proud of you.  I can't believe how much you've already developed and grown in the past couple of months.  I STILL can't believe you're here in our lives, that you're my little baby that I can hold and kiss.

I've been telling Daddy that I'm so much more calm and joyful this time around.  It might be because I had a good 5-6 year break from the baby stage, or because I'm older now, or because I know it all goes by much too fast and even the most difficult and tiring things will pass eventually, but I'm just enjoying you so much more than I was able to with your older sisters.  I was so stressed out and miserable overall when I had your sisters.  I had a lot of things going on mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that was hindering me from being the kind of mom I wanted to be.  This time around, I'm in a much better place and even your crying makes me smile.  It may also be because your crying is so sweet and sorrowful instead of angry and demanding.

Anyway, I can't wait to see you grow even more in the coming weeks.  Your sisters absolutely adore you.  They sing to you whenever they can, always greet you when we go to pick them up from school, and give you endless hugs and kisses even if you don't seem to like it at times.  Haha~  They're going to smother you with so much love as you grow up.  We all are.  I know you will definitely have no shortage of love and care in your life.

Even my mom, your hal muh nee, came to visit two weeks ago and she was so taken by your smiles and sweetness.  I know you won't see her as much as the rest of us since she lives in San Francisco, but I hope that you'll grow up knowing her immense love and awesome goofiness.  She's an amazing woman, as is Daddy's mom, your Ahma.  You are surrounded by incredible examples and I will continue to try to work on myself so I could be one of those as well.

I love you and thank God everyday for bringing you into my life.  I can't believe I didn't want a third baby.  I can't imagine my life without you, little one.