My smiley little one,
Just a couple days ago you turned one. I cannot believe that you are already a whole year old. It's been a whirlwind of a year. Just adjusting to having a baby around the house again was a huge adjustment. Also, your sisters had to really learn to be more gentle, quiet, and responsible in order to take care of you and make sure that you're safe. It's still an ongoing process, but they are learning day by day.
Also, just yesterday we had your birthday party. We invited all our friends and family, about 50-60 people, over to our home and celebrated your precious life and you turning ONE. It was really stressful to get prepared. Your grandma and grandpa flew in all the way from San Francisco days before the party to help with cleaning and prepping. They did so much. We all did. There were moments when I wanted to give up because it seemed impossible to get done in time, but you were our motivation. We would do anything for you and your sisters. You are all such a blessing to your Daddy and I.
With becoming one, you have definitely upped your game. You don't listen to me very well. There are times when you do what I ask right away, like you're really great at handing things over to me when I ask you, "Give it to Mama", but most times you are running away from me and trying to do what you want to do instead. You especially love the stairs. You keep wanting to climb up and go upstairs. You are very picky when it comes to eating. You whine, throw your head back, squirm your body, flail your arms around, try to hit the food away, and sometimes even hit me in process just so you won't have to take another bite of something. You much rather have your organic goat formula all day long. I hope you'll come around to real food and start eating a more balanced diet. I'll keep trying.
You say "hi" all the time now and started to blow kisses. You still need work on being "gentle" since you like to hit things including your food, people, books, etc. Haha~
You always jump up and down with overwhelming excitement and joy whenever I go in to get you up from a nap or in the morning after a long night's sleep. Your soft and puffy hair bounces all over the place. It's the cutest and most heartwarming thing. Going to get you after a nap is one of my favorite things to do every day.
You laugh at so many things. You laugh at voices I make. You laugh at looks I give. You laugh when I startle you. You laugh when I swing you around. You laugh when I tickle you. You laugh when I chase you. You just laugh all the time.
You also [finally] got your third tooth, but you haven't had any new teeth since 4 months old when the two middle bottom teeth sprouted out so you've been smiling with an underbite all this time. It's the cutest thing in the world. I know it's for the best, especially for your overall health and happiness, that you get your other teeth, but I am really going to miss when you stop smiling your goofy underbite smile.
You even started walking with help and taking a few steps on your own. To be honest, I thought you'd be walking by ten or eleven months because your older sisters both were walking all by themselves around that time. In a way, I'm thankful that you're developing a tad bit slower than your sisters in that area because it allows me to baby you for a bit longer. I can't help it with you. Daddy and my own parents (your grandparents) tell me all the time that I spoil you so much compared to your sisters at this age. I have to admit that I do let you get away with a bit more than I would have allowed for them. You will probably be our last baby. That makes me cherish and baby you much more. On top of that, you're so stinkin' cute!
I pray that this coming year of life will continue to bring growth and health. I pray that you would become more and more who God intends for you to be. I pray that my love for you would be enough on the days when I may fail you in every other way. I pray that you would continue to grow closer to your big sisters, that they would always watch out for you and adore you the way they do now. I love you and am so thankful to God that you have been in our lives for a year.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
My sitting 8 month old
We've got a sitter, yes we do! You've been sitting slanted to the side with one arm propping you up for nearly a month now, but you all of a sudden started sitting upright on your own today. Once you did it, you kept doing it! I couldn't believe my eyes. Now, you don't do the side sitting thing at all. You go from crawling around (your adorable army crawl) to sitting up. It's incredible. I just can't get over how big you look now that I'm not sitting in back of you propping you up. You're doing it all on your own!
Also, we got through another month of breastfeeding. I had to supplement with organic formula for a feeding here and there, mostly the night feeding, but we did it! Every day that passes by, then every week and month, I just am so amazed that we've made it this far. I remember telling Daddy that I was going to go straight to formula from birth if we had any more babies after Alana. Yet, when I held you in my arms and looked into that sweet face, it was just natural for me to want to provide the best for you as much as I could. So, after much pain and daily struggles, we've made it to 8 months. It may not seem like a whole lot to most but to me I am so thankful for that. I'm so thankful that I got to give you the best nutrients for your first several months of life, especially the first half year when the breastmilk is the only source of nutrition you're getting.
You still don't eat a lot of solids but you do love eating your organic puffs. Haha~ Even your older sisters love it. They ask for some whenever I feed you it.
Also, you've talked and babbled a LOT since you were born, even at a couple of months old, but the word you've said most consistently and often is "Dada." It does make me a little bit sad when all you say is Dada and hardly ever say Mama unless you're desperately crying, but I am truly happy that you love your daddy so much. He adores you to pieces. There are days when he gets home after a long day of work and can't hold you since he has to get things done around the house or take your sisters to their jiu jitsu class, and I see the aching in his eyes. If it were up to him he would stay home and hold you all day long. When he does get the chance to hold you, all he can do is laugh at every little thing you do and stare.
I spend all day with you and I still can't get enough of you. I play with you, read to you, and try to take all of you in. I know you're going to grow up so unbelievably fast...I'm really trying to savor each little moment. You're so tall and big. I can barely hold you nowadays without feeling shooting pain in my wrists and arms. Haha~ A lot of people say you look a year old already. You really do. The clothes you wear is mostly for 12-18 months and your hair is so long now, with your bangs going into your eyes.
I can't wait to see what this coming month has in store for us. I wonder what you'll learn in the days to come.
Also, we got through another month of breastfeeding. I had to supplement with organic formula for a feeding here and there, mostly the night feeding, but we did it! Every day that passes by, then every week and month, I just am so amazed that we've made it this far. I remember telling Daddy that I was going to go straight to formula from birth if we had any more babies after Alana. Yet, when I held you in my arms and looked into that sweet face, it was just natural for me to want to provide the best for you as much as I could. So, after much pain and daily struggles, we've made it to 8 months. It may not seem like a whole lot to most but to me I am so thankful for that. I'm so thankful that I got to give you the best nutrients for your first several months of life, especially the first half year when the breastmilk is the only source of nutrition you're getting.
You still don't eat a lot of solids but you do love eating your organic puffs. Haha~ Even your older sisters love it. They ask for some whenever I feed you it.
Also, you've talked and babbled a LOT since you were born, even at a couple of months old, but the word you've said most consistently and often is "Dada." It does make me a little bit sad when all you say is Dada and hardly ever say Mama unless you're desperately crying, but I am truly happy that you love your daddy so much. He adores you to pieces. There are days when he gets home after a long day of work and can't hold you since he has to get things done around the house or take your sisters to their jiu jitsu class, and I see the aching in his eyes. If it were up to him he would stay home and hold you all day long. When he does get the chance to hold you, all he can do is laugh at every little thing you do and stare.
I spend all day with you and I still can't get enough of you. I play with you, read to you, and try to take all of you in. I know you're going to grow up so unbelievably fast...I'm really trying to savor each little moment. You're so tall and big. I can barely hold you nowadays without feeling shooting pain in my wrists and arms. Haha~ A lot of people say you look a year old already. You really do. The clothes you wear is mostly for 12-18 months and your hair is so long now, with your bangs going into your eyes.
I can't wait to see what this coming month has in store for us. I wonder what you'll learn in the days to come.
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
First tooth is finally OUT!
You've been teething for months now. Drooling like a leaking faucet. Extra fussy probably from the discomfort and pain. Waking up many times during naps and your nighttime. Clamping down on my shoulder and collarbone to ease the pressure.
The other night, I could see the little ridges of your tooth wanting to poke through the gums. I almost thought it had already cut through. Then, this morning as I looked at your adorable face and talked to you as I usually do every day, you smiled at me [as you always do] and I saw it. A tiny white tooth with a tiny drop of dried blood next to it on your gums. I can't believe you got your first tooth. Just in time for your upcoming 6 months birthday in a couple of weeks.
I've been able to nurse you all this time miraculously. My goal was one month. Then, two. Then, three. Then, possibly four. I thought for sure it was just wishful thinking. Then, we hit four. Then, FIVE. Now, we are only a couple of weeks away from hitting SIX. My ultimate goal was to get to six months since they say that's usually the time when the baby gets the maximum benefits of the mommy's antibodies and nutrients in the first half year. So, we are so close.
With your new little tooth [and many more to come, I'm sure], you'll probably be eating solids and drinking water in no time. My milk will become less and less something you desire. I'll let you lead the way. I love you so much and can't believe how quickly you're growing up. It blows me away that it's already been nearly half of a whole year!! It doesn't feel like it. I feel like you're still so much my newborn little baby. At the same time, you're such a huge part of my life, our lives, that it feels like you've been here forever.
You bring me so much fatigue (haha), but even more joy and happiness. Your smile can heal all things.
The other night, I could see the little ridges of your tooth wanting to poke through the gums. I almost thought it had already cut through. Then, this morning as I looked at your adorable face and talked to you as I usually do every day, you smiled at me [as you always do] and I saw it. A tiny white tooth with a tiny drop of dried blood next to it on your gums. I can't believe you got your first tooth. Just in time for your upcoming 6 months birthday in a couple of weeks.
I've been able to nurse you all this time miraculously. My goal was one month. Then, two. Then, three. Then, possibly four. I thought for sure it was just wishful thinking. Then, we hit four. Then, FIVE. Now, we are only a couple of weeks away from hitting SIX. My ultimate goal was to get to six months since they say that's usually the time when the baby gets the maximum benefits of the mommy's antibodies and nutrients in the first half year. So, we are so close.
With your new little tooth [and many more to come, I'm sure], you'll probably be eating solids and drinking water in no time. My milk will become less and less something you desire. I'll let you lead the way. I love you so much and can't believe how quickly you're growing up. It blows me away that it's already been nearly half of a whole year!! It doesn't feel like it. I feel like you're still so much my newborn little baby. At the same time, you're such a huge part of my life, our lives, that it feels like you've been here forever.
You bring me so much fatigue (haha), but even more joy and happiness. Your smile can heal all things.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
5 months you are
Oh Ellie,
We made it to 5 months this past Monday (the 15th). I can't believe I'm still breastfeeding you. Every day, every week, every month I feel so blessed to have been able to provide the best for you. I feed you every 2-3 hours all throughout the day and every 3-4 hours at night. With each feeding, I feel so thankful that I was able to make enough.
It's been a hard month. You are cutting your first tooth. I can see the white coming through your gums. Any day now it'll poke out of your gums. That has caused you to become really fussy in the past few weeks. You've been crying more than ever. You've been waking up many times at night yelling for me. You started this really loud yelling thing that's kind of embarrassing. Haha~
Kaia and Alana never yelled like that before. It's definitely a first for me. You seem to get really angry about something and then start yelling really loud and forcefully. It's so loud that I have to constantly leave places to not be disruptive when we're out somewhere. Even so, I love you so much. I adore every part of you, even the seemingly sinful parts. Haha~
I have a feeling you're going to be quite a handful as you grow up. So far, you are the most headstrong and aggressive of all. I pray that we would be able to guide you to channel that passion into something good.
I'm also praying that we make it to 6 months of breastfeeding. By then, we can hopefully start feeding you some solids so you won't need as much breastmilk. I'm so excited. You've been eyeing us whenever we eat and moving your mouth while drooling. I'm sure you want to eat so badly. We just have to wait for you to be able to sit up on your own. I can't wait!
We made it to 5 months this past Monday (the 15th). I can't believe I'm still breastfeeding you. Every day, every week, every month I feel so blessed to have been able to provide the best for you. I feed you every 2-3 hours all throughout the day and every 3-4 hours at night. With each feeding, I feel so thankful that I was able to make enough.
It's been a hard month. You are cutting your first tooth. I can see the white coming through your gums. Any day now it'll poke out of your gums. That has caused you to become really fussy in the past few weeks. You've been crying more than ever. You've been waking up many times at night yelling for me. You started this really loud yelling thing that's kind of embarrassing. Haha~
Kaia and Alana never yelled like that before. It's definitely a first for me. You seem to get really angry about something and then start yelling really loud and forcefully. It's so loud that I have to constantly leave places to not be disruptive when we're out somewhere. Even so, I love you so much. I adore every part of you, even the seemingly sinful parts. Haha~
I have a feeling you're going to be quite a handful as you grow up. So far, you are the most headstrong and aggressive of all. I pray that we would be able to guide you to channel that passion into something good.
I'm also praying that we make it to 6 months of breastfeeding. By then, we can hopefully start feeding you some solids so you won't need as much breastmilk. I'm so excited. You've been eyeing us whenever we eat and moving your mouth while drooling. I'm sure you want to eat so badly. We just have to wait for you to be able to sit up on your own. I can't wait!
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Drool all over
Oh my Ellie,
I haven't been in the right mind to blog to you lately. It's been a busy month full of nursing struggles, teething woes, and tons of firsts. You've learned and master flipping over onto your tummy. You've even started to do it at night and during your naps just a few days ago. You don't know exactly how to turn back over but you're a pro at flipping over. Haha~ It's incredibly cute how you just roll over and then your fluffy hair pops up as your head goes up.
Every time you cry as you wake and I walk over to say hi to you, your face lights up and you give me the warmest and biggest smile ever. It melts me through and through.
You're starting to learn to crawl as well. You pummel your face into the ground and push with your little feet while you lift your bum into the air. Everything you do is so incredibly adorable.
Sadly, I'm not always making enough milk so you cry from not being full lately. It breaks my heart. We've tried various bottles and you've rejected all of them. There is one you've taken a time or two, but you still give me a hard time to take just a couple of ounces of milk. I'm praying that you take to it soon before I completely am unable to make milk. Either that, or I pray that God would provide me with enough to keep going for many more months.
Also, you've started teething pretty badly. You drool like a faucet and are much fussier than you've ever been, probably from the discomfort and pain. I just purchased some amber necklaces and bracelets online so I'm hoping it'll relieve some of that soon.
I can't believe you're already over four months old. That's nuts to me. It feels like I just gave birth to you. Somehow four months have flown by. I know that in a blink of an eye you'll already be nearing your first year birthday. After that, it'll just continue to go by faster and faster. I look at your big sisters and realize that this baby stage is such a short and sweet time to be savored as much as possible because you'll never be able to get it back.
Even when you're crying, as hard it is to see and hear you unhappy or in pain, I can't stop staring at your adorable face.
I love you to pieces. I make all kinds of noises, faces, and literally jump through hoops to make you smile or laugh all day long. I've carried you for over an hour at times to calm you when you have a lot of gas or are inconsolable for whatever reason. Even with my arms throbbing and becoming numb, as long as I can bring you some sort of comfort or ease any of your pain, I happily hold you for as long as you need me to.
I can't wait for you to continue to learn and grow. You're absolutely beautiful.
I haven't been in the right mind to blog to you lately. It's been a busy month full of nursing struggles, teething woes, and tons of firsts. You've learned and master flipping over onto your tummy. You've even started to do it at night and during your naps just a few days ago. You don't know exactly how to turn back over but you're a pro at flipping over. Haha~ It's incredibly cute how you just roll over and then your fluffy hair pops up as your head goes up.
Every time you cry as you wake and I walk over to say hi to you, your face lights up and you give me the warmest and biggest smile ever. It melts me through and through.
You're starting to learn to crawl as well. You pummel your face into the ground and push with your little feet while you lift your bum into the air. Everything you do is so incredibly adorable.
Sadly, I'm not always making enough milk so you cry from not being full lately. It breaks my heart. We've tried various bottles and you've rejected all of them. There is one you've taken a time or two, but you still give me a hard time to take just a couple of ounces of milk. I'm praying that you take to it soon before I completely am unable to make milk. Either that, or I pray that God would provide me with enough to keep going for many more months.
Also, you've started teething pretty badly. You drool like a faucet and are much fussier than you've ever been, probably from the discomfort and pain. I just purchased some amber necklaces and bracelets online so I'm hoping it'll relieve some of that soon.
I can't believe you're already over four months old. That's nuts to me. It feels like I just gave birth to you. Somehow four months have flown by. I know that in a blink of an eye you'll already be nearing your first year birthday. After that, it'll just continue to go by faster and faster. I look at your big sisters and realize that this baby stage is such a short and sweet time to be savored as much as possible because you'll never be able to get it back.
Even when you're crying, as hard it is to see and hear you unhappy or in pain, I can't stop staring at your adorable face.
I love you to pieces. I make all kinds of noises, faces, and literally jump through hoops to make you smile or laugh all day long. I've carried you for over an hour at times to calm you when you have a lot of gas or are inconsolable for whatever reason. Even with my arms throbbing and becoming numb, as long as I can bring you some sort of comfort or ease any of your pain, I happily hold you for as long as you need me to.
I can't wait for you to continue to learn and grow. You're absolutely beautiful.
Tuesday, March 14, 2017
"I love you"
I say "I love you" to you all day long. I do it without any thought because it just comes out naturally whenever I look at you and spend time with you. I adore and cherish you, my Ellie Girl.
Today, you actually started saying it back to me. You kept saying three words together in the same tone I was saying "I love you." It actually sounded really close to it, except you couldn't quite figure out how to make the y sound of "you." It was so incredibly heartwarming to watch you. I took a video of it because I knew i would want to remember that moment. I can't believe you're learning how to say a whole phrase at barely 3 months! You are growing leaps and bounds.
Don't grow up too fast, little one. I'm going to miss you too much.
Today, you actually started saying it back to me. You kept saying three words together in the same tone I was saying "I love you." It actually sounded really close to it, except you couldn't quite figure out how to make the y sound of "you." It was so incredibly heartwarming to watch you. I took a video of it because I knew i would want to remember that moment. I can't believe you're learning how to say a whole phrase at barely 3 months! You are growing leaps and bounds.
Don't grow up too fast, little one. I'm going to miss you too much.
Monday, March 13, 2017
100%
I can't believe it. We went to your check up the other day and you have grown so much! You are nearly 15 pounds and over 2 feet tall. That makes you 100 percentile for height!!! Insane~ Kaia was always in the ninety-something percentile for height since she was a baby, and I thought that was insanely tall. You are just a giant little baby. Hehe~
You're developing so quickly as well. You are just about to turn 3 months and have mastered putting your head up during tummy time. The first couple of months, you really disliked tummy time and would just pummel your face into the blanket while crying. Some time in the past couple of weeks, especially when Daddy was out of town for the Shepherd's Conference, you started handling it a lot better. You would still end up getting frustrated and cry but you would actually try to lift your head up and look around. Now, you can put your head fully up for a few minutes before getting tired. It's so cute to just watch you looking around like a turtle.
Also, you are talking up a storm! You're already saying "hi", "uhma", "mama", and so many other sounds that could be words. You sound like you're asking questions or complaining with how you talk, going up and down in your tone. I love listening to you talk no matter how tired I am. It's so adorable.
On top of all your developments, the doctor confirmed my fear, that you're teething. She showed me how swollen your bottom gums were. It's so sad to see you fussy due to the discomfort and pain. You're drooling like crazy and wake up multiple times in the night even though since a month old you were sleeping straight through the night if I didn't wake you for feedings.
It's incredible to watch you grow and change with each day. Your cheeks are so filled out and your chubs is undoubtedly scrumptious. I kiss your rolls all the time.
Today, I made animal noises for you and you were so overcome with joy when I did the "doggy goes woof woof" part. Haha~ You were cracking up. It's the second time you've had a long crack up session. I'm sure there's more to come. I love it. I love it all.
Well, my Ellie Girl, you mean so much to me and are teaching me to be more patient, gracious, selfless, and trusting in the Lord. Such a blessing you are.
You're developing so quickly as well. You are just about to turn 3 months and have mastered putting your head up during tummy time. The first couple of months, you really disliked tummy time and would just pummel your face into the blanket while crying. Some time in the past couple of weeks, especially when Daddy was out of town for the Shepherd's Conference, you started handling it a lot better. You would still end up getting frustrated and cry but you would actually try to lift your head up and look around. Now, you can put your head fully up for a few minutes before getting tired. It's so cute to just watch you looking around like a turtle.
Also, you are talking up a storm! You're already saying "hi", "uhma", "mama", and so many other sounds that could be words. You sound like you're asking questions or complaining with how you talk, going up and down in your tone. I love listening to you talk no matter how tired I am. It's so adorable.
On top of all your developments, the doctor confirmed my fear, that you're teething. She showed me how swollen your bottom gums were. It's so sad to see you fussy due to the discomfort and pain. You're drooling like crazy and wake up multiple times in the night even though since a month old you were sleeping straight through the night if I didn't wake you for feedings.
It's incredible to watch you grow and change with each day. Your cheeks are so filled out and your chubs is undoubtedly scrumptious. I kiss your rolls all the time.
Today, I made animal noises for you and you were so overcome with joy when I did the "doggy goes woof woof" part. Haha~ You were cracking up. It's the second time you've had a long crack up session. I'm sure there's more to come. I love it. I love it all.
Well, my Ellie Girl, you mean so much to me and are teaching me to be more patient, gracious, selfless, and trusting in the Lord. Such a blessing you are.
Monday, March 6, 2017
STOP GROWING UP SO FAST!
Okay, in the past couple of weeks, you've had so many firsts, especially this past week when Daddy was in LA for Shepherd's Conference. You laughed heartily for a long time for the first time while Daddy was away. Then, the other night as I was pouring a little bit of breastmilk in your nose to try and break up the mucous (you're very sick with a cold) you kept moving your mouth up to try and get a hold of the cup. So, I tried pouring a tiny bit into your mouth. You swallowed with a big gulp and smiled even bigger. I let you drink the rest of the ounce of milk I had left. I can't believe that you're drinking from a cup at 2 months!! Your sisters, and most babies, do that around 5-6 months.
Also, for the past few weeks whenever I say "hi" or "hi Ellie" you say "I" in a short little outburst. I honestly believe it could be considered your first word if you could say the "h" part of "hi." You really do sound like you're saying hi back whenever you say it to me. If that's not your first word, then you might've said it last night. You were coughing violently in your crib after I fed you. Since we share a room, I just lied there in my bed listening to you to make sure you weren't in any danger or distress. As you were crying to try and fall asleep, you said "Mmmmmmaaaaaa~~~" I thought you were trying to say "Mama" but then figured you were just placing your lips together while you were finishing up crying. Then, a moment later, still crying, you said much more clearly and fully, "Mama~" I am so incredibly thrilled that you might be learning that Mama actually means something important in your life. I say it to you often when I talk to you like, "Mama's going to go get your diaper," or "Mama loves Ellie" or "Mama's here!"
I'm incredibly in love just hearing your voice say that word. At the same time, I was trying to say Dada a lot because I know it would've meant so much for one child to say "Dada" as their first word instead of "Mama." Either way, I am in disbelief that you're growing up SO fast. You'll probably be eating in a month or so. I wouldn't be surprised. You are so different than your sisters in your development. Since the moment you came out into this world, with your eyes open trying to take in everything around you when your sisters didn't care to open up their eyes for weeks after birth, I just knew you would be the one to really keep me on my toes and change things up on me in a blink. I'm so thankful to be able to experience these firsts again through my time with you, my adorable little Ellie. I love you so much.
Also, for the past few weeks whenever I say "hi" or "hi Ellie" you say "I" in a short little outburst. I honestly believe it could be considered your first word if you could say the "h" part of "hi." You really do sound like you're saying hi back whenever you say it to me. If that's not your first word, then you might've said it last night. You were coughing violently in your crib after I fed you. Since we share a room, I just lied there in my bed listening to you to make sure you weren't in any danger or distress. As you were crying to try and fall asleep, you said "Mmmmmmaaaaaa~~~" I thought you were trying to say "Mama" but then figured you were just placing your lips together while you were finishing up crying. Then, a moment later, still crying, you said much more clearly and fully, "Mama~" I am so incredibly thrilled that you might be learning that Mama actually means something important in your life. I say it to you often when I talk to you like, "Mama's going to go get your diaper," or "Mama loves Ellie" or "Mama's here!"
I'm incredibly in love just hearing your voice say that word. At the same time, I was trying to say Dada a lot because I know it would've meant so much for one child to say "Dada" as their first word instead of "Mama." Either way, I am in disbelief that you're growing up SO fast. You'll probably be eating in a month or so. I wouldn't be surprised. You are so different than your sisters in your development. Since the moment you came out into this world, with your eyes open trying to take in everything around you when your sisters didn't care to open up their eyes for weeks after birth, I just knew you would be the one to really keep me on my toes and change things up on me in a blink. I'm so thankful to be able to experience these firsts again through my time with you, my adorable little Ellie. I love you so much.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
TEETH at 2!???
Yes, you are only a little over 2 months and you're already teething.
Your sisters started teething at around 4-5 months. You are drooling like crazy, constantly sucking your entire hand, and extra fussy lately.
I can't believe it. You're growing up WAY too fast in so many different ways.
One thing you can't do yet is hold your head up all the way. I think because you're so adorably chubby, the girth on your neck makes it hard for you to lift your head up. You're so soft and squishy all over and everyone loves holding you super close and tight.
I absolutely adore you, Ellie. I constantly hug and kiss you all over. Whenever you're nursing, I just sniff your hands, hair, whatever I can reach. I love just holding you close and hearing you breathe. You are my gem and I'm so incredibly thankful you're in my life. You have taught me to slow down even more to savor the simple things in life (like laying on the couch with you asleep on my shoulder).
I pray that, as much as I do look forward to all the milestones you'll hit, you won't grow up too quickly. You are my last baby and I want to remember as much as I can, especially your smell and sounds. Those are the things that I treasure the most.
Your sisters started teething at around 4-5 months. You are drooling like crazy, constantly sucking your entire hand, and extra fussy lately.
I can't believe it. You're growing up WAY too fast in so many different ways.
One thing you can't do yet is hold your head up all the way. I think because you're so adorably chubby, the girth on your neck makes it hard for you to lift your head up. You're so soft and squishy all over and everyone loves holding you super close and tight.
I absolutely adore you, Ellie. I constantly hug and kiss you all over. Whenever you're nursing, I just sniff your hands, hair, whatever I can reach. I love just holding you close and hearing you breathe. You are my gem and I'm so incredibly thankful you're in my life. You have taught me to slow down even more to savor the simple things in life (like laying on the couch with you asleep on my shoulder).
I pray that, as much as I do look forward to all the milestones you'll hit, you won't grow up too quickly. You are my last baby and I want to remember as much as I can, especially your smell and sounds. Those are the things that I treasure the most.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Growing by the day
Hello my adorable Ellie girl,
You are talking so much lately. Just the other day, while Kaia was talking to you, you laughed for the very first time. Before, you used to have short little shouts here and there that sounded sort of like the beginning of a good laugh, but this time you full on laughed with your head thrown back and mouth wide open. It was the sweetest and cutest sound in the world.
You're only 2 months and 2 weeks old, yet you're already cooing up a storm, smiling from ear-to-ear, pushing super hard with your legs whenever i hold you up onto my lap (almost like you're just about ready to stand on your own), making all kinds of adorable expressions with your eyebrows, eyes, and mouth, sleeping through the night, taking long naps during the day, on and on.
Just a week or two ago, you were sleeping in the car and for short spurts here and there, but this past week you've been going down in the crib downstairs for 2-3 hours. I'm so proud of you. I can't believe how much you've already developed and grown in the past couple of months. I STILL can't believe you're here in our lives, that you're my little baby that I can hold and kiss.
I've been telling Daddy that I'm so much more calm and joyful this time around. It might be because I had a good 5-6 year break from the baby stage, or because I'm older now, or because I know it all goes by much too fast and even the most difficult and tiring things will pass eventually, but I'm just enjoying you so much more than I was able to with your older sisters. I was so stressed out and miserable overall when I had your sisters. I had a lot of things going on mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that was hindering me from being the kind of mom I wanted to be. This time around, I'm in a much better place and even your crying makes me smile. It may also be because your crying is so sweet and sorrowful instead of angry and demanding.
Anyway, I can't wait to see you grow even more in the coming weeks. Your sisters absolutely adore you. They sing to you whenever they can, always greet you when we go to pick them up from school, and give you endless hugs and kisses even if you don't seem to like it at times. Haha~ They're going to smother you with so much love as you grow up. We all are. I know you will definitely have no shortage of love and care in your life.
Even my mom, your hal muh nee, came to visit two weeks ago and she was so taken by your smiles and sweetness. I know you won't see her as much as the rest of us since she lives in San Francisco, but I hope that you'll grow up knowing her immense love and awesome goofiness. She's an amazing woman, as is Daddy's mom, your Ahma. You are surrounded by incredible examples and I will continue to try to work on myself so I could be one of those as well.
I love you and thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. I can't believe I didn't want a third baby. I can't imagine my life without you, little one.
You are talking so much lately. Just the other day, while Kaia was talking to you, you laughed for the very first time. Before, you used to have short little shouts here and there that sounded sort of like the beginning of a good laugh, but this time you full on laughed with your head thrown back and mouth wide open. It was the sweetest and cutest sound in the world.
You're only 2 months and 2 weeks old, yet you're already cooing up a storm, smiling from ear-to-ear, pushing super hard with your legs whenever i hold you up onto my lap (almost like you're just about ready to stand on your own), making all kinds of adorable expressions with your eyebrows, eyes, and mouth, sleeping through the night, taking long naps during the day, on and on.
Just a week or two ago, you were sleeping in the car and for short spurts here and there, but this past week you've been going down in the crib downstairs for 2-3 hours. I'm so proud of you. I can't believe how much you've already developed and grown in the past couple of months. I STILL can't believe you're here in our lives, that you're my little baby that I can hold and kiss.
I've been telling Daddy that I'm so much more calm and joyful this time around. It might be because I had a good 5-6 year break from the baby stage, or because I'm older now, or because I know it all goes by much too fast and even the most difficult and tiring things will pass eventually, but I'm just enjoying you so much more than I was able to with your older sisters. I was so stressed out and miserable overall when I had your sisters. I had a lot of things going on mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that was hindering me from being the kind of mom I wanted to be. This time around, I'm in a much better place and even your crying makes me smile. It may also be because your crying is so sweet and sorrowful instead of angry and demanding.
Anyway, I can't wait to see you grow even more in the coming weeks. Your sisters absolutely adore you. They sing to you whenever they can, always greet you when we go to pick them up from school, and give you endless hugs and kisses even if you don't seem to like it at times. Haha~ They're going to smother you with so much love as you grow up. We all are. I know you will definitely have no shortage of love and care in your life.
Even my mom, your hal muh nee, came to visit two weeks ago and she was so taken by your smiles and sweetness. I know you won't see her as much as the rest of us since she lives in San Francisco, but I hope that you'll grow up knowing her immense love and awesome goofiness. She's an amazing woman, as is Daddy's mom, your Ahma. You are surrounded by incredible examples and I will continue to try to work on myself so I could be one of those as well.
I love you and thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. I can't believe I didn't want a third baby. I can't imagine my life without you, little one.
Sunday, January 8, 2017
My very first entry to you
Hello my Ellie,
You are just a little over three weeks old now. I can't believe it's already been a month since you've entered our lives.
It's been a struggle from the get go. Labor and delivery was the most intense and insane ordeal. I was in more pain than I thought was humanly possible.
These past few weeks, nursing you has been a huge struggle. At first, I was so engorged that you were having the hardest time latching on. You tore me up and I was in tears at every feeding. I was making way too much milk for you to handle. Then, as my body got more used to your feeding patterns, it started to slow down. Some days, I don't seem to make enough and you cry out of frustration and hunger. Other days, I make too much and make you choke. It never seems to be just right. I pray that I would be able to provide for you longer than this month. If God has it that I can't make enough to take care of you, I'll have to be flexible and look for the healthiest formula to feed you. I made the mistake of not giving into formula with your sister, Alana, even though she always seemed hungry even after a feeding for nearly ten months. Once we switched to formula, she slept so well and was a much happier baby. I don't want to do that to you. So yes, we will keep trying this nursing thing but once it takes away from your quality of life I will have to throw in the towel. I love you too much to watch you go hungry.
Being a mom for the third time around has taught me to be much more laid back. I cried and freaked out with every little thing with Kaia. With Alana, although I wasn't as afraid of everything we had just moved from SD to Oahu, we were living with your grandparents and had no personal space, AND we were renovating an entire home, which took up any free time we had. So, it was definitely a very stressful time.
This time around, although we are living with your grandma, she's respected our time as a family. Also, your sisters a great help in taking care of you. Whenever you need a diaper change, Kaia is the first to jump up and pick you up to change you. It's actually really sweet how much she loves taking care of you and holding you. Alana isn't as big as Kaia so she can't hold you as easily but she constantly tries to get some cuddle time with you as well.
Everyone loves spending time with you even if you're sleeping or fussing most of the time.
With each passing day, you get more and more adorable, lovely, and wonderful. I cannot wait to hear more coos, see more smiles, and interact with you. Right now, you look around a lot and fuss for milk when you're awake. In a few months, I'm sure you'll be reacting to everything we say and do and laughing at things. Sigh~ It's going to be such bliss to hear a huge chuckle for the first time.
You may do things earlier since you opened your eyes just seconds after coming out of my womb. It was incredible. You were trying to look around and see what all the noise and commotion was. Daddy got it on video so I've been watching it over and over again.
In less than a week you will have been in our lives for a month. You are truly my sunshine. Even though I am in pain, exhausted, and stressed from not being able to produce enough milk for you at times, I look at you and all of that just melts away. You're here. After a long 7-8 months of wondering about you, you're here in my arms. I am so blessed. I love you more than you'll ever know. Even before I knew how you looked, who you were, I loved you. The moment I felt a flutter in my tummy and I found out I was pregnant with you, I loved you. I love you, Ellie.
You are just a little over three weeks old now. I can't believe it's already been a month since you've entered our lives.
It's been a struggle from the get go. Labor and delivery was the most intense and insane ordeal. I was in more pain than I thought was humanly possible.
These past few weeks, nursing you has been a huge struggle. At first, I was so engorged that you were having the hardest time latching on. You tore me up and I was in tears at every feeding. I was making way too much milk for you to handle. Then, as my body got more used to your feeding patterns, it started to slow down. Some days, I don't seem to make enough and you cry out of frustration and hunger. Other days, I make too much and make you choke. It never seems to be just right. I pray that I would be able to provide for you longer than this month. If God has it that I can't make enough to take care of you, I'll have to be flexible and look for the healthiest formula to feed you. I made the mistake of not giving into formula with your sister, Alana, even though she always seemed hungry even after a feeding for nearly ten months. Once we switched to formula, she slept so well and was a much happier baby. I don't want to do that to you. So yes, we will keep trying this nursing thing but once it takes away from your quality of life I will have to throw in the towel. I love you too much to watch you go hungry.
Being a mom for the third time around has taught me to be much more laid back. I cried and freaked out with every little thing with Kaia. With Alana, although I wasn't as afraid of everything we had just moved from SD to Oahu, we were living with your grandparents and had no personal space, AND we were renovating an entire home, which took up any free time we had. So, it was definitely a very stressful time.
This time around, although we are living with your grandma, she's respected our time as a family. Also, your sisters a great help in taking care of you. Whenever you need a diaper change, Kaia is the first to jump up and pick you up to change you. It's actually really sweet how much she loves taking care of you and holding you. Alana isn't as big as Kaia so she can't hold you as easily but she constantly tries to get some cuddle time with you as well.
Everyone loves spending time with you even if you're sleeping or fussing most of the time.
With each passing day, you get more and more adorable, lovely, and wonderful. I cannot wait to hear more coos, see more smiles, and interact with you. Right now, you look around a lot and fuss for milk when you're awake. In a few months, I'm sure you'll be reacting to everything we say and do and laughing at things. Sigh~ It's going to be such bliss to hear a huge chuckle for the first time.
You may do things earlier since you opened your eyes just seconds after coming out of my womb. It was incredible. You were trying to look around and see what all the noise and commotion was. Daddy got it on video so I've been watching it over and over again.
In less than a week you will have been in our lives for a month. You are truly my sunshine. Even though I am in pain, exhausted, and stressed from not being able to produce enough milk for you at times, I look at you and all of that just melts away. You're here. After a long 7-8 months of wondering about you, you're here in my arms. I am so blessed. I love you more than you'll ever know. Even before I knew how you looked, who you were, I loved you. The moment I felt a flutter in my tummy and I found out I was pregnant with you, I loved you. I love you, Ellie.
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